So, is this the taper? I have run two days in a row, and here I sit on my designated rest day itching to go running. Hmmm, interesting. Itching to run on a rest day does not usually happen, so I will take this as a good sign.
Only nine more days until the marathon, and I feel confused. I am super excited for some reason....and determined. More than anything I want to finish this race and have a good time doing it.
There is a small voice inside of me squeaking, though, what if you fail?
Normally, I am not one to contemplate failure too much. Things will be what they will be. And, my philosophy of late has been more if I can't finish a race then so be it...I don't finish it. However, in 2012, I had two marathons I intended to do but did not - switching from the Kalamazoo Marathon to the Half was a no-brainer at the time because I was injured and didn't think I could recover quickly enough, however giving up on the Jungfrau at Mile 24 - while necessary - still sticks in my craw. And, there is also a part of me that wonders if my philosophy of "it will be what it will be" isn't a bit to blame for my giving up on those two races last year. Maybe if I had more of an attitude of Fuck what will be, I am doing it, those failed attempts wouldn't have happened.
So, as this race approaches, I would be lying if I said doubts weren't creeping in. I can't help but think, what's going to go wrong this time that I won't be able (or willing?) to handle? When the going gets tough - like I know it will seeing as I only did an 18-mile training run - will I just throw in the towel again? Or, will I be able to gut it out regardless?
I am hoping for the latter. I have had some friends suggest that given my training, maybe I should just do the Half if that is an option, but not this time. This time, I am tired of missing my goals. I am determined to keep this one and to finish it so long as I am physically capable.
Of course, keeping a goal and morphing it into something more manageable are two different things in my mind. So, this go around, instead of shooting for a 4:40 marathon, which I was hoping to do, I am just now shooting to finish - happily.
I am also going to do a run/walk again....my trusty Galloway method. I keep trying to run entire races, but I seem to always fall back on Galloway. What can I say? It helps. Anyway, I plan on walking a minute every mile as well as walking through the water stations. Since there are 20 water stations on the course, I figure I will have plenty of walking recovery time.
I wish the day were already here, because I know this next week of waiting may just prove to be harder than the race itself. Oh well, just another exercise in mental fortitude, I guess.
So, as always, Happy Running, or as they say anytime you call Disney - Have a Magical Day!