Friday, January 4, 2013

"Que Sera Sera" - F**k that!

So, is this the taper?  I have run two days in a row, and here I sit on my designated rest day itching to go running.  Hmmm, interesting.  Itching to run on a rest day does not usually happen, so I will take this as a good sign.

Only nine more days until the marathon, and I feel confused.  I am super excited for some reason....and determined.  More than anything I want to finish this race and have a good time doing it.

There is a small voice inside of me squeaking, though, what if you fail?

Normally, I am not one to contemplate failure too much.  Things will be what they will be.  And, my philosophy of late has been more if I can't finish a race then so be it...I don't finish it.  However, in 2012, I had two marathons I intended to do but did not - switching from the Kalamazoo Marathon to the Half was a no-brainer at the time because I was injured and didn't think I could recover quickly enough, however giving up on the Jungfrau at Mile 24 - while necessary - still sticks in my craw.   And, there is also a part of me that wonders if my philosophy of "it will be what it will be" isn't a bit to blame for my giving up on those two races last year.  Maybe if I had more of an attitude of Fuck what will be, I am doing it, those failed attempts wouldn't have happened.

So, as this race approaches, I would be lying if I said doubts weren't creeping in.  I can't help but think, what's going to go wrong this time that I won't be able (or willing?) to handle?  When the going gets tough - like I know it will seeing as I only did an 18-mile training run - will I just throw in the towel again?  Or, will I be able to gut it out regardless?

I am hoping for the latter.  I have had some friends suggest that given my training, maybe I should just do the Half if that is an option, but not this time.  This time, I am tired of missing my goals.  I am determined to keep this one and to finish it so long as I am physically capable.

Of course, keeping a goal and morphing it into something more manageable are two different things in my mind.  So, this go around, instead of shooting for a 4:40 marathon, which I was hoping to do, I am just now shooting to finish - happily.

I am also going to do a run/walk trusty Galloway method.  I keep trying to run entire races, but I seem to always fall back on Galloway.  What can I say?  It helps.  Anyway, I plan on walking a minute every mile as well as walking through the water stations.  Since there are 20 water stations on the course, I figure I will have plenty of walking recovery time.

I wish the day were already here, because I know this next week of waiting may just prove to be harder than the race itself.  Oh well, just another exercise in mental fortitude, I guess.

So, as always, Happy Running, or as they say anytime you call Disney - Have a Magical Day!


  1. Hang in there and yes, you are having normal taper thoughts. Doubts come to the forefront of your mind. But you are doing good formulating plans on how you will handle it and opted to do just what I was going to suggest.

    Don't aim for a specific time. It is okay to have hopes but don't get discouraged about pace.

    Start slow. Painfully slow. In all reality, you probably won't be going as slow as you think you are. You have 26.2 miles to prove yourself. Don't try to do it all in the first few miles.

    Hydrate. I carry my own drink and don't need to refill at each station but I sip at each one. And anywhere else I need to. When I do need to refill, yes, I stop a moment (kinda have to in order to top off a bottle) and walk a bit.

    Be prepared for the switch from walk to run being tougher in the final miles. At one point of my last marathon I was in that frame of mind, found a target to start running at, and someone ended up motivating me to run. I ran my best miles then.

    Good luck and enjoy every step of the journey.

    1. Thanks for the motivation! I am really not sure what to expect with this race. It's been a year and a half since I completed by last marathon, and I remember that being tough. I think there will be a lot of nice distraction during this race, though, and I am going to try to just enjoy it. Having only completed an 18-mile long run, though, I worry about those last eight miles. Ah well. :)

  2. I think you'll be fine, complete normal taper thoughts! And run/walk is a great way to go!

    1. Thanks for the support! I am hoping this is a good race, although everyone tells me to just have fun and not worry about time. I am going to try to do that!