I am sickened by what has happened, but not particularly surprised. Why should I be? This type of random shit seems to happen in all arenas of human life: sports events, movies, schools, businesses, people's homes, what have you. It's hard to understand how anyone can be so disrespectful of human life, that some statement might be so important to them, that the loss of life and this kind of chaos is worth it to get the message across. Really, are we that much more civilized then the other creatures of this planet? I am starting to think we are not.
What strikes me the most is that for many of us running is our relaxation, our meditation. It's our therapy. It's how we DEAL with this type of shit. Running is what we do to escape all the chaos in our everyday lives. Maybe it's what we do when we are feeling down, when the pressures and depressing news of the day get to us. It helps us unwind, it helps us feel good about ourselves and our own humanity. It helps us feel closer to a more natural, living, vibrant part of ourselves - or at least what we consider our potential selves. It brings us to our happy place.
To have something like this at an event that celebrates our very abilities as humans - our athleticism, our own personal victories and our humanity - is devastating.
I really envy the people who take something like this and can see the good in it - those who see not just the horror of what has happened but the overwhelming goodness in the people who respond - those who step up and help.
Maybe I am too cynical, but what I see is a world where people playact at being mature, who cannot put aside their wants and desires to work toward the greater good of the whole. I don't know who did this, of course, or why, but in the end is it just going to turn out to be a more violent version of what we see everyday? People taking sides, defending their opinions in overriding volumes, while sweeping aside with a tired turn of the hand that which matters most to others? When will we as a race - the human race - grow up and see that respect and working together is more valuable than our petty differences?
I am lucky in that I know quite a few local friends and fellow runners who were at Boston today and no one in that circle was hurt. Others were not so lucky. My heart goes out to them. As someone who, it once was said, carries the weight of the world's worries on her shoulders, this sadness is a heavy burden. I think to lighten the load a little I will try to keep in mind that those people I envy are no doubt right, goodness does outweigh evil in this world. I just wish the "good" people could be a little "gooder" and the bad people not so loud.
This week while running I will no doubt be thinking about Boston quite a bit, and I will be grateful that despite such sorrow running still is what brings me to my happy place - and ain't nothing going to change that. I hope, if you are reading this, you feel the same.
|Where I squeezed in my yoga mat to stretch|
this morning after my run, so I could
watch the elite runners in the last hour
of their Boston race.