How can I be disappointed in a PR?

I am offering up this brief post as a way of saying, I am still alive!  I still am working on the Kalamazoo Half Marathon race report, which I started writing almost before I crossed the finish line.  As a result, at this point, it is filled with a lot of disappointment, self-pity, and whining.  Before I present it here, that will change.  I spent the first couple of days after the event pouting and licking my wounds, but now I am ready to suck it up and put things in perspective.

So, I am sure with that lead in you are curious about how the race went.  If you follow me on Facebook, you already know that I did PR the event with a 2:05:22 (chip time).  And, that is AMAZING!  I am happy about that.  The disappointment comes in simply because I really wanted to get under 2:00.  But, you might be thinking, wasn't that her pie-in-the-sky goal?  Well, yes, indeed it was.  That's why it has taken me a couple of days to figure out why I was so bummed out that I missed it.

And, I think, the bottom line is this....Aside from the fact that I had built up the anticipation and excitement to stratospheric proportions (meaning that the drop to disappointment-world was that much greater), I realized that I was bummed out that I couldn't be one of those crazy success stories - you know, the ones where someone isn't adequately trained for something, but still comes from behind (or, in my case, a training deficit) to pull off something phenomenal?  In other words, one of those crazy stories that hardly ever happens but you really wish it would?

So, once I worked through this a bit - knowing that I wasn't trained for a sub-2:00 goal specifically - I realized that, as it turns out, I was really just disappointed that this race wasn't handed to me.  Childish, no?  I am a little ashamed to even be typing these words.  Part of the charm of the PRs of the past couple of months, what I have been writing about, is the realization I have had that hard work DOES pay off.  I have trained harder and seen improvements.  So, why get disappointed now when I don't work hard enough for something, and it doesn't pay off?  Right.

So, now it is back to the drawing board.  Time to sharpen my next training plan, put some work in, and try again next time.  In the meantime, my next big goal is a mountain marathon in September, so the sub-2:00 PR is going to have to wait for a while. Eventually, I'll need to work for it, but I'll get there, I think.

Okay, so race report coming soon.  In the meantime, enjoy these couple of pictures I managed to take.  It's not much, that's for sure.

Also, don't forget the Cryocup Giveaway!  Seriously, folks, these things are the best thing since sliced bread (tried to think of a running-related metaphor, but after two wake-up calls in the middle of the night, I am not thinking too cleverly.)

Happy Running!

Hubby and I before going into the expo.  Not bad for a
self-portrait!

Not sure what's happening with the hand-flip wave, but
my smile was because I saw my family here.  This was
at mile 8.5, right before the start of the first of two
very rudely placed hills.